Naive. That one word which used to have a rather negative connotation to me, often making me feel insecure.
It’s really no secret that when we’re younger, we’re somewhat bound to be naive. How can you not be when you don’t know any better? You always have to start somewhere. We have to experience things, both good and bad. But that’s ultimately what shapes us into the kind of people we later grow into.
A few years back, I had a crush on my classmate. Despite never directly telling him how I felt, he noticed it soon after. It all happened in more of a friendly, teasing manner. “So you have a crush on me, huh? You’re so naive.“, he said with a subtle grin. In that moment, I got embarrassed but it was also a bit of a relief. He basically said what I had been wanting to tell him but was too shy to do so. Still though, it did hurt my feelings a little. This brief yet crucial moment was sort of a catalyst of this gloomy mindset that my sincere feelings towards him were insignificant, therefore I as a person was insignificant.
But as I grew a little older, this dark mindset eventually faded away. I started meeting new people, discovering new interests and learning more and more about myself. This new version of me turned out to be a huge inspiration for my past self but also for the person I still strive to be in the future.
I’ve learned that oftentimes in life, being an “open book“ isn’t necessarily a wrong thing. At the end of the day, life is too short for you to be constantly playing games or keeping it cool with someone you care about. Sometimes, the best thing is to just go for it. I believe that it’s important to stay true to yourself and not be afraid of being vulnerable, despite the risk of embarrassing yourself and getting your heart broken.
Sure, sometimes it’s better to hide your feelings to protect yourself from getting hurt. But if you find yourself being truly infatuated with someone, telling them directly will help you to move on. One way or another. If you don’t tell them now, you might regret it later.
Being naive used to reflect something bad, pitiful, not very cool in my eyes. This word used to represent this “icky“ trait of mine I had wanted to get rid of. All because of one silly remark from an ordinary guy who I was putting on a pedestal that was set up ridiculously high, as it usually goes with crushes.
I eventually managed to change this negative perception of myself. It was all just an illusion, an obstacle which prevented me from becoming my real, best self. So what if someone thinks I’m naive? Just let me stay that way. While it might be true that too much naivety is bad for you, it doesn’t mean you should stop being naive entirely. It erases a sense of hope from our minds. Without naivety, one becomes heartless. And without heart, we can’t love.